WELCOME 2008!!!

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My Dream May Come TRUE!

I found in newspaper that government is having this project of letting ppl aged 18-30 to go New Zealand work+travel! YAY! This is really i great opportunity for me to go out and see the beautiful, wonderful, fantastic world! I hope that this program will still on until year 2009. After my grad, i'll go New Zealand! But it was stated that it would be better if we can go on December coz they need worker during that period and it was the peak period for traveling. I am still wondering whether i should go there str8 away after grad or wait till december. But it'll take me half a year to stay there since the program allows us to have visa to stay there for 6 months. hmm.. think think think..


Yesterday mom told me lots of stories from one of my high school fren. Though i'm not very close with her but still i dun really have a good impression on her. Mayb i was not that close with her i guess. But she had good results and she was quite popular during high school time. I was the noob. :p Anyway, i was suprised that she hung up with my mom's good fren's son. Since then, her good fren starts complaining about my fren and kutuk her gao gao! haha. My mom got tell me everything and i listen lor. But they broke up recently due to some problem and i was shocked when my mom told me that she tends to create disputes between my mom's good fren and her son. sigh... But from my opinion, I dun think my fren is serious in this relationship. She is using him only for her own benefits. From what i heard, i had this opinion.

Everything is fine...

Oh my I'm getting even lazy these days... Didnt study much till now :p

Mom just came back from the MRI scanning and the result is--->Nothing wrong with the brain and her ENT. Oh wei! She looks so happy with the result and went to work again. Haha... She cant just sit quietly but that makes her a good mom. hehe... But today it's me who feel a little dizzy. Maybe it's just my illusion o what... Got influenced by mommy i guess.

To9 feel so bored! Instead of studying, I keep on sleeping. Jenifer just told me tat this year xmas so no feel! I am so agree with her man... Feel like the hole in my heart getting bigger! Especially when i went to Jenifer's house to watch the caroling. Oh man! The Santa Claus looks just like him! I wanted to go hug him man haha... I'm sure he'll be the one playing guitar if he is still here. Cannot Cannot i must go sew the hole up so that I can go back to the me that i used to be. That's why im here typing tis stupid blog.

Planned to go Singapore after final and it'll be me 1st outstation solo travel. Haha. This is my own travel! Feel excited yet a bit scared. Hmm.. Really wan to go out "shan shan xing". Staying in melaka only makes me feel sigh.. Suprisingly, I think i recovered from my break up with JS. I think i never fell in love with him b4. lol. It's purely replacement i guess. That's why i dun feel that hurt. But I still cant recover from my 1st broke up. sigh. Time is all i need. Sien ar... Still hav to take how long?

I'm Sorry

Got this from a fren's blog. Love this very much! He really got talent in writing this kinda thing. I tried to do this before but somehow my vocab isn't tat good and therefore cant express what i want to express in a correct way. Check this out!

sorry.
it is hidden quietly somewhere in a corner
joining other truth that has been concealed
waiting for someday for them to be revealed.

ive long forgotten that little space,
as i tried as hard as i could to forget,
i've forgotten that little corner where so many things were forgotten there

i'm almost there.

but sometimes the reverie before the traffic lights turning into green
or just an untitled melody i played with my fingers while falling asleep in the office
or the sleepless nights that seemed like blood were oozing out within
would remind me of them.

sorry,
i have to hide the hardest word in the world,

simply because i love you so.

Fantastic isnt it?

MERRY XMAS!!!

It's Xmas eve! Sent a lot of sms to friends and couz early in the morning. Went to Xuan Cafe with frens and that's my Xmas eve. Sounds bored but anyway it had past. Everywhere is jammed, and all i can see on the road are cars, and more cars. In Melaka got not much to see during Xmas. The famous spot is Portuguese Settlement where the houses are suppose to be well decorated. However, it's very disappointing every year that the residents there isn't that creative and were mostly lazy to decorate their houses. So, what they do in Portuguese Settlement? Of course it's countdown and spraying ppl who went there with snow spray! That's all and a lot of Melaka citizens squeeze their life there, walk 30 min from far far away, just to countdown! haha.. That's what youngsters like me does.

Kai Ko Vincent gave me a very cute present which i wanted to buy since long time ago but got no money! So happy yor... Thank you ah ko! Thx for being there for me in this critical down time of mine! Really appreciates it! I promise I'll not give up my life easily! :)

Mom got really sick today ( yesterday). She was so suffered until she cried! Zun zun saw her crying he ownself also cried. Luckily he listens to me and stop crying infront of mommy. lol. What a cutie little brother. Naughty yet good boy. It's really weird that mommy's ear got noise woo-ing 24 hours nonstop and it really annoys her. Went to a specialist in Putra, and is taking MRI scan on Wednesday. It is bloody expensive! RM 800++ for scanning the head only. sigh... But this kinda money cannot save we know...

The Wedding Day...

From the bottom of my heart, congrats to Ing Ing - the happiest lady in the world on 22-12-2007! She got married yesterday and I was her ji mui! haha... She was my colleague when i was working in Italy Bakery. She's treats me quite well when i worked there therefore when she asked me to help her to become her ji mui, i str8 away agreed! Though her wedding wasn't that grand and merry like those i attended, but she's happy. That's the most significant thing.

My lady boss said:" At last, he got married!" haha... Ing is very innocent. Like me, she was not good in love affairs and she was the same people like me (actually i used to learned from her when i worked there). Those men that she met were junk. They were loan sharks and useless brat. Some even got 4 wives already but still wan to chase Ing Ing. Asked her become his 5th. F*** him man.

But she met with this guy who are a sales manager who has a very good background and they fell in love! It's been 1.5 yrs they in luv and now... dang dang... they marry! What a happy ending... Cheers to her! Wish her happy forever and hope she will stop her play gal thing... I know its hard but im pretty sure with her husband's luv, she will change it!

Also, the day before yesterday, me n JS decided to stop this replacement thing. I told him wat i feel and he told me how he feel. Good thing also we come to that decision because i know that i cant depends on others to solve my problem. Good luck my fren in everything! I will not forget our friendship! Hope you can get what you hope for and become a boss as you wish!

Oops I did it again!

I m sorry for not having any feelings on you. I just got failed in love affairs and all i want is friendship not a close relationship with u... Hope u understand...

Im feeling sooo bad these days. I dont laugh as i laugh before; I cry a lot more now; I make myself smile everyday so that people around me wont feel bad with me. I hate the me now. I prefer the me i used to be. The me who do not know anyting, who were still innocent and blur. Being crossed in love is just a small matter, i used to think. JS said i can recover by finding a replacement and he can become my replacement. lol. Thx u so much but does it really works? Well, till now i dun think so. It's me who keep on troubling you i guess... Shit i really wish to go back to the past and delete the happy memories i used to have so that i wont feel that bad now! Oh man come on SK u r lame!!! U must not keep on being in the past. There will always be a better tomorrow! Look forward!!! SMILE... I tell this to myself everytime i cry. Sigh... Self psycho.

Xmas is coming... Dunno wanna go out with who. Worst come to worst, who oso dun wan follow.
Stay at home study suan liao. I dun like this xmas la... Makes me think a lot of sad thing. Sien. Suppose to study today but somehow, no mood to study man. Damn it! The weather is sux, mood is sux, and everything's sux! Come on man.. The world should be a happy world but wat am i doin here sighing and doing nothing. How i wish i can go around the world now. I wan to go beach, watch sea... go Japan see their technology.. go Korea eat barbecue chicken, go America Hollywood, go Australia find fren, go New Zealand see their farm, go Paris drink coffee, go visit Mars...

What m i doin here wasting my bloody time looking at the boring screen typing this freaking blog? Well, it's because im stil under parental control! Thx to those f**king criminals who rape so many gals, who killed so many innocents and ... ( ARGHH... THEY ARE JUST PIECE OF JERK WHO CONTRIBUTE NTH TO THE SOCIETY, BUT CRIMES AND BRING INNOCENTS TO DEATH ) Because of them, my lovely parents think this world is so dangerous for a gal like me to go out alone. Oh man... I'm waiting for my industrial training so that i got reason to move out and stay alone without parents' control. If not i'll never learn and go everywhere.

~~ *w* Untitled *w* ~~

(Yawn...) Spent half a day outside with Renee, Fishball, Li Ee and Yap. Feel like so long didnt go out with them and I feel so happy going out with them today. It's kinda like seeing old frens after a long while, although we got meet each other in campus sometimes la. lolz... I like going out with only a few frens but not a bunch of frens, like we used to previously. It's much much easier in making decision on where to go wat to do and less argument.

We went for a movie first around 12.20pm. Watched Night at the Musuem. Nice man.. Wont regret for paying the tics to watch. So funny and i luv the ending! HAPPY ENDING~~~ Later we went for lunch at Padang Pahlawan. Ate 乌东面 which costs me RM5.50 + a RIBENA RM 1.80. Not bad but i prefer the Korean 海鲜拉面. Anyway, we shopped for around 30minutes before bowling. Darn i feel like sooo freaking regret for buying new clothes so soon. Now i have no money to buy clothes at Padang Pahlawan man. I dun even dare to try on the clothes afraid that I'll buy if i try them on. However, i still got tried some la. Afterall it's kinda weird for a girl who went to shop without trying any clothes. hohoho~~~

I didnt play bowling but watched them playing. Yap scored highest 66, Renee 55, and last is Fishball 20sth only. lolz... I was thinking about him when they were playing sial. Now i understand why songs always got "I cant stop thinking of you". Aiks... Its happening on me now. Anyway, I can feel that i'm slowly recovering now since I found out that: There's no point for me to be unhappy also wat... If he got contact me then I just be happy lor... If not, there's nothing to lose also. lolz... Lame...

Eeee... Just now Mr. "hak yan zhang" Pat Pat YM me. I didnt reply him because he is soo damm cheap man. Acting like wanna chase me behind of gf but infront of gf, he dun even dare to look at me man. LAMO!!! FXXX HIM!!! !@#$@$%!

Nothing much happened after that... Just normal stuff and help daddy did something bad to society of Melaka or even JB. My sincere apologize to them. Lolz...

^u^ The Truth ^u^

Went with his good fren for lunch today. I was wondering why I agreed to eat with him. Maybe it's normal fren stuff o wat. Anyway, briefly knew what is his problem already. Got it from his fren. 原来, he was facing relationships problem. "苦笑!" Why? Because i asked him b4 whether it's relationship problem but he said no wor... Lolz... He really got no feeling on me.. Now i'm seriouly no regret of my decision to give up on him. Aiks... That's what i always do... GIVE UP! Dunno y when cum to Girls and Guys thing, I just cant give in. No confidence i guess. I had seen a lot of unhappy couple. Including my parents. Maybe tat's y i got no confidence in this kinda stuff. Pity ya...

Okay.. So today still failed to forget him. Adoi... However, i found something to keep my mind occupied! Guess wat? Its puzzle! Suddenly feel like playing puzzle. Then, i took the one i bought few years ago, 1000 pieces-F4 poster puzzle. 1000 PIECES man....! Wow... At least by puzzling, i wont think of him to much la.

Going to Langkawi on next next week. Dun really hav the mood now but hopefully i will got the mood in two weeks time. Really wish it will be a good and nice nice trip. Heard tat the Ferrero Vochelle there is damm cheap. 30biji for RM18+ only.... I WANT TO BUY TAT!!! I think I'll spent damm lot of money for tis trip. Damm... I should knew tis since Im going with a bunch of rich kids. A bit regret for joining them now... Shh... Cannot let them know tis... Talking about Langkawi, heard from his fren tat he is at Langkawi today. Lolz... Now im thinking about him again! Darn!

Tat's all about today. Better sleep b4 my pimples get more and more!!! Goodnite!

''u'' << A New Day Has Come >> ''u''

Blimey... Yesterday too tired until no enerygy to update blog... Actually planning to update after taking a nap at 11.30pm. But somehow, I failed to wake up and sleep until this morning. haha...

Had a chat with Sg Biao Jie yesterday. Told her bout my feeling with 小金人and she gav me some advice. She told me to tell him wat i feel towards him straight away and dun popo mama. She is quite true but anyway, I wont do that because i m afraid tat we wont even be fren later. LMAO!!! She also told me her experience. She said that she like a guy b4 and she tell him that she like him. The guy's didnt reject but he act like he dun like her. Then she was so angry and tat's all for their friendship. Now, she also got a bf already. He's her good fren that they've known each other for almost 10yrs! haha... She said that its better to accept a guy who like u more than u like him. yeah... I AGREED! Tat's y i was thinking not to be so 执著 anymore. If we got 缘分, we'll get together at last also. I didnt reply his sms yesterday. I think it's a good step to 放开! Wish me luck! haha....

I put this title "A New Day Has Come" because i want to be back the normal LSK, the one without Feeling with any guy. Only myself, family and frens. Tat's all. It's kinda difficult since i still keep on thinking about him whole day! I even dream about him. Bloody Hell! haha... Sounds stupid but this really happened! In my dream, there was not only me n him but also my frens. We were so happy. I was so happy. Can feel tat 幸福 even when i was awake. lalala~~~ haha... 原来只要能够和他一起，我就非常开心! Eventough we are not couple. eee... Sounds sooooo freaking 肉麻!

Anyway, I'LL DO MY BEST! I'll try and try not to think about him and keep my mind occupied with other stuff. I'm goin to rent my lovest 小说 and read. YEAH!!! GANBATEI KUDASAI!!! 加油哦，喵喵。天下无难事，只怕有心人！你一定可以从这一切抽身出来的！

*~~* A tiring day *~~*

Oh my~~~ Today is really a very tiring day man... Went to shopping at JJ with family early in the morning from 10.30am till 6sth pm. Sounds crazy but it really happened! Anyway, tis isn't the 1st time la... lmao! Bought a few new clothes for CNY. Looks nice when i tried in JJ but dunno why when i try them on at home, i felt i shouldnt buy those clothes la. Why? hmm... Daddy said its not nice at all and it doent look fashionate enough... In addition, he blamed my mom didnt help me to pick nice clothes. Mom was freaked out when she heard tat. Then, arguements begin. Damm it! I feel that im a BLOODY PEST for causing all these troubles man... aiks... 伤脑筋呀...

I tried to pleased both of my old buddy here but somehow i just dun feel happy lor. Just take tis picking clothes as example. I cant actually get any useful tips from them to choose the clothes i want. So far, i didnt actually buy clothes on my own due to financial difficulties. So, i have to go out with them to buy if i wan them to pay for me... hehe... Conflicts occurs between 2 generations when come to fashion lor. My dad prefer me to wear sporty but mom prefer me to be lady like... funny rite? they cant come to a compromise or watever... hiah... My bro told me tis:"我喜欢的衣服他们都不喜欢，他们认为好看的衣服，我都觉得还ok罢了。所以，我不喜欢和他们一起去买。而每次出去时，我都好像在应酬他们，买他们喜欢的衣服." Bro also have the same feeling with me. haha...

When my mom told me about Irene, my dad's "close gf", that my dad will like watever Irene did, i was so annoyed. I really wish that i m couraged enough to ask my dad whether he got an affair with Irene. haih... 好烦！My frens said that our family's relationship is very good. My dad is very sporty, my mom is very nice person. I was laughing inside when i hear tat everytime man. Our relationship is good? Wat i see through our relationship is pretending and pleasing each other! chiu~~~!

Finish bout my family, now is my own problem. Although i know that i shouldnt put too much feeling on someone who dont like me but 他妈的 i cant stop thinking about him! Bloody Hell... We now communicate much much lesser and i'm getting weird when didnt chat with him one day. 我现在的心情好像在被他牵着走, 能够和他谈天, 我就已经很开心! 感觉好变态哦! 干脆喜欢“兔子”就好了嘛! 干吗去喜欢“小金人”啊! "兔子" 人又好又体贴，我干嘛不喜欢, 却喜欢对我毫无感觉的小金人! Stupid Sial!!!

Today, in the very first week of January 2007, i cried. Haha... I cried in the bathroom while bathing and let the water carry my tears away. This is a negative symbol to achieve my 2007 LSK Vision. Anyway, I'll try my best to reach my vision. GOOD LUCK TRACY! U CAN DO IT!

First Blog

OHAYO~~~!!!.... its 1 o'clock in the morning and i just started my ever 1st blog! I wonder how long my blog will last since i'm not really sure tat i'll update my blog from time to time... Anyway, i'll just try...

What inspired me to start a blog? Well, i wanted to find someone to talk to but somehow i tot of nobody who willing to listen in addition i dun want to make my frens think i'm a pessimist. The moral of my life: Make everybody around me HAPPY!!! aiks... In real world, human wont be satisfied and no matter how much effort in put in, they just wont appreciate it. As a result, no matter how much effort i put in to make people around me happy, it just dont work! PATHETIC ya...

SO, tat's y i created a blog hoping i could throw my "sorrow" away through the blog, and share my happiness with it oso... hohoho!!! Can i do tat? Let's see!

Just now i went to Italy Bakery together with my mom. My mom is working on the bakery's account and got no time chit chat with me. As a result, i spent 2 hrs doing nth there but looking people walking around. It was so damm boring and i was hoping that someone could call me or sms me to chit chat... Actually i was just hoping of someone else la. hehe... however, the "someone" i was thinking did not contact me... But, "someone else" who i rejected before contact me and we did some chats. looks like he had recevered and now we can talk as usual... Its kinda SAD becoz i rejected someone who loved me so much, but instead, i like someone who wont like me... NONSENSE rite... ceh...

aiks... its all for now... although i still have to throw a lot of thing out... lmao!!! chiaoz... nitez...